The LORD Chose TRUMP for The White House to Fulfill the ARMAGEDDON Prophesy

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Recent (and somehow secretive) DNA analyses revealed that Donald Trump's son-in-law, of Jewish ancestry, has a bloodline that goes way back, tremendously way back to Jesus of Nazareth.

Two notorious events took place, to the intrigue of many Christians, Judaism followers, and Atheists. Donald Trump, who has always been with “what-the-hell” in his mouth, became a devout Christian (sic!) Then, he gave his daughter in marriage to a Jew. Not any Jew, mind you, but one who is genetically linked to Jesus of Nazareth.

For the Jews, that Jesus has always been considered a fabrication, or a fraud, at best. For Christians, by contrast, Jesus is Christ (a.k.a. The Lord). The Lord is everything — Alpha and Omega, The Beginning and The End.

The END is a very important thingy for Christians. There must be an End of Time; it is the only way The Christ will return. This most important event in the eternal lifespan of the Universe is known as The Second Coming of Christ.

But here is the rub: “IF there is no End, there is no Second Coming”, The Lord warned His faithful long ago. Therefore, the followers of The Lord must somehow force The End of Time by challenging The Evil. That would be a Battle of such destructive proportions that would put an end to the physical world. The unimaginably-destructive battle is known as Armageddon. This mental calamity, the Armageddon, has been "announced" every year for the past 2000 years… and there is no end in sight, as it were.

The Year of Grace 2000 A.D. was always a landmark for Christians: The end of the world. Unfortunately for Christians, nothing bad really happened then (or later, in 2011). But the hopes were still there, as slim as they might have seemed to The Vatican et al. Enter George Dubya Bush. In 2000, he runs for the Presidency of the United States. Dubya stated several times that The Lord wanted him in the White House to facilitate The Second Coming.

The hopes for The Armageddon were intensely fueled, as Dubya quickly started two large-scale wars. Alas! The two wars never came even close to The Armageddon!

An even taller Christian, Ronald Reagan, was closer to that much sought-after Armageddon. Ronald Reagan came within a whisker of starting World War III during his Presidency, right in the middle of the Cold War. His "spiritual advisers" were End-Times Fundies Jerry Falwell and Pat Boone... whom he saw regularly (see official photo below).

Ronald Reagan was also a brain-washed President who believed in the End of Time and Armageddon.

Simple soul that he was, Ronnie Reagan believed all that Bronze Age grotesque white-horse crap. Just as the latest End Times nut case does, with his 35 million disturbingly-credulous Christian American followers. Fat-boy pastor Hagee preaches the exact same form of suicidal psychosis that infected Reagan. This sinner world must be destroyed for The Christ to return and establish the Kingdom of God for the pure.

Thusly and therefore, The Lord had to create now a new Christian and furthermore arranged a Jewish-Gentile marriage. To the dismay of Christians worldwide, an affluenza boy with “what-the-hell” in his mouth (and married three times, including to model who posed in the nude) won the heart and vote of the American Evangelicals. The new Christian (now with DNA links to Jesus of Nazareth) also won The White House.

And, like in the Epiphany on the Road to Damascus, the new Christian launched a few dozen missiles that fell not far from Damascus. Furthermore, The Epiphany made the new Christian speak in tongues: “I would be honored to meet Kim Jong-un”.

“Love thy neighbor,” kinduv. That “neighbor” is a godsend. The murderous dictator has nuclear weapons and keeps mouth-foaming that North Korea is going to launch them nukes in an attack against America. And, of course, America has plenty of those nukes, more than anybody else — the stuff The Armageddon dream is made of.

The three Presidents featured here have religion in common. They benefitted immensely from the support of the American Evangelicals. The Evangelicals strongly believe in The Second Coming of The Christ and its sine qua non precondition: The Armageddon. The three men in the White House definitely sounded crazy enough to be capable of acts resulting in Armageddons.

Islam also has similar pillars of belief: End Times and Day of Resurrection and Judgment. They are at the core of the murderous ISIS (Islamic State). The Evangelicals in America and the Jihadists in Islamic nations were ecstatic to hear Trump during the campaign: "I'm gonna bomb the crap out of ISIS, including with nukes!" Many Muslims worship ISIS because they believe ISIS had to nuts to already initiate the Armageddon (the first phase, they believe).

Said Ion Saliu, thinker at-large, founder of mathematical atheism:

So, will there be a Second Coming? Methinks NOT! Because there was NO First Coming... in the first place! On the other hand, a form of Armageddon is always possible after Hiroshima. It won't result, however, in comings, or shortcomings, etc. The result of a nuclear Armageddon will be NOTHING… or nothingness in terms of human life.

These End Times and Armageddon expressions should no longer be treated as beliefs; they should be treated as dangerous forms of suicidal psychosis. A fanatically exalted minority can drag a huge majority of humans into an abyss of no return.

Fortunately, mathematics proves undeniably that an exact repetition of the current iteration of the Universe with intelligent life, has a good chance: 37%. Unfortunately also, there will be an exact repetition of a President Trump — His Second Coming... not in bed, mind you...

“Ayo, ayo! Cinco de Mayo!
Ayo, ayo! La fiesta del gallo *!”

* Gallo (pronounced as in Mexican(!) Spanish) = Rooster; Donald Trump fantasizes He is a Rooster amongst dozens of naked Miss Universe pageants... from all over the world, not only Americans! "Grab them by the p*ssy!"... and offer them citizenship, if necessary...

“A good man is an axiomatic man; an axiomatic man is a happy man. Be axiomatic!” – Ion Saliu (royalty name: Parpaluck; every human deserves a royalty-name and should boast one).

Is this Armageddon-Trump-Jesus book, theory Tremendous Fake News – REALLY?

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Sane people know that there won't be a Second Coming because there was NO First Coming to begin with!